It takes two

I saw it in my email again Another one of those ridiculous rants from a guy who is mad at every woman who ever existed for the fact that he feels his ex screwed him over in court. Let me start by saying I don’t cast doubt on this man’s claims but I think he has been blindsided from the bigger picture by virtue of being unable to see beyond his own experience. His assumption that men are always the breadwinners or that they always take the riskiest jobs to me seemed somewhat myopic. My father may be a truck driver for example but so is his sister. His other sister is a nurse and while to many that may not seem risky nurses deal with literal life and death issues every day. I also know dozens if not more female Emts that however in no way means that I don’t believe men are important my uncles and grandfather worked construction but when my uncle was a man short his sister roofed right beside him he even commended her for her unflinching work ethic. When some of the men he knew chose to coast through life my aunt chose to hold down three jobs so she could move into her own apartment. It is not 1812 boys it’s 2016 and things are not the same as they were back then. Within the subtext of his email I could not help but notice his bitterness because he mentioned women complaining about their needs not being met  I can only assume this was a frequent complaint of his ex wife. Then he of course is silly enough to ask what needs a woman could possibly have besides being clothed and fed or having a roof over her head. Well lets start with this glaringly obvious statement:  Women are not children .If we could not already provide those things for ourselves before a man came along it is not very likely that we are mature enough to be considered “wife material” .If a man is not intelligent or mature enough to realize that a woman has 1)a need to be heard 2) a need to be understood and 3) a need to be loved and a need for a partner who recognizes that she is more than just an overgrown child I doubt he is “husband material” either. I am sorry that this individual can not currently rise above his own victim mentality. It would be so easy for me as a disabled woman to play the victim in regards to my experiences with the opposite sex if I chose to. I had some truly horrific experiences during my younger years. From the 8th grade boy who left me stranded on Valentines day because he did not want to walk me to my table. To my first boyfriend who dumped me at a party on our first official date in front of all of my friends. Or even the guys in high school who assumed that I would be insecure and easy. The truth is however that I knew better than to blame every guy I ever met for the way a few lousy jerks treated me. I have always had plenty of guy friends who have treated me with as much kindness as my female entourage. Not to mention that I grew up with two amazing brothers and have had countless mentors and teachers of the male gender whom have been inspirational to me. The assumption that I “hate men” due to the fact that I care about issues affecting other women is somewhat skewed. After all regardless of what anyone who wrote books such as Men are from Mars women are from Venus  would have us  to believe Adam was made from the dust of the Earth and Eve was made from Adams rib. Men and women not only come from the same planet most of our physiology is complimentary to one another. As a believer and as a wife I see so much of this divine truth every day. My husband and I balance one another out in so many unique ways. In the areas that I am lacking he excells and vice versa. As man and wife we have in many ways perfected the art of Marital compromise. For example today my husband went across town to go visit his friend and I spent the day with my aunt. I had a lot of fun and my apartment got fumigated and I did some cleaning. If a marriage ever wants to last till death do us part than it will require two individuals committed to not calling it quits and making it last a lifetime.

Candace Casey aka Cccasey5150


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